How to Own Your Power with Tandy Pryor

Tandy Pryor Feature Image

Join Jennifer and her guest Tandy Pryor where you’ll learn how your attitudes toward power, including your physical environment, may be holding you back and help you get some tips for standing in your own power.

Things we Mention:

Tandy Pryor Coaching: http://tandypryorcoaching.com

Related Content: How Does Power Influence Your Work

About Tandy

Tandy Pryor helps high achieving coaches, healers, sales pros and creatives—own their power and their worth so they make more money and have a more powerful impact on the world… by doing work that matters.

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Jen McFarland:             [00:01]               Hello and welcome to the Third Paddle Podcast. This is the show for business owners focused on growth who get a little stuck sometimes, and all you need is a little nudge to help you course correct. On this episode, have you ever struggled with power? I’m not talking about electrical power. I mean standing in your own power, listening to your inner wisdom, and showing up in a big way.

That’s exactly what we’re going to help you with on this week’s show. You’ll learn how your attitudes towards power and even your physical environment may be holding you back.

Announcer:                  [00:31]               Welcome to the Third Paddle Podcast, recorded at the Vandal lounge in beautiful Southeast Portland, Oregon. Why the Third Paddle? Because even the most bad-ass entrepreneurs get stuck up in Business Shit Creek. Management consultant, Jennifer McFarland is your Third Paddle, helping you get unstuck.

Jen McFarland:             [00:50]               I’m joined today by Tandy Pryor. She helps high-achieving coaches, healers, sales pros and creatives own their power and their worth so they make more money and have more powerful impact on the world by doing work that really matters. Tandy, I’m so excited to have you on this show. How are you doing today?

Tandy Pryor:                 [01:08]               I’m doing great. I’m glad to be here.

Jen McFarland:             [01:10]               I know. We’ve been joking a lot, trying to figure out the Skype thing, and I’m just glad to see you because I was in Cincinnati hanging out with you not that long ago, but I haven’t seen you since then, so I’m just really glad to see you. Yeah?

Tandy Pryor:                 [01:28]               Yes. Yes. I’m really glad to see you too. I was like, “That was a really fun time”, and you have a funny sense of humor, and I’ve still seen things like I sent you from Findlay Market where your humor, which I might have missed before, but now, I kind of have a way of kind of seeing things a little differently after spending time with you just in your view of the world.

Jen McFarland:             [01:50]               I don’t even know what that means, but if anybody follows me on Facebook, they can see all my goofy puns and all of that kind of thing. I have like a sense of humor that’s really similar to like dad jokes, I think is what they call them now. A [lot [00:02:05]-

Tandy Pryor:                 [02:06]               I’m talking about the hamster hipster sign like that one lady had.

Jen McFarland:             [02:06]               Yeah.

Tandy Pryor:                 [02:06]               Yes.

Jen McFarland:             [02:11]               That is so funny. Yeah. No. It’s-

Tandy Pryor:                 [02:13]               Right. I think you had to be there.

Jen McFarland:             [02:14]               You had to be there. Tandy, can you tell the listeners a little bit about your work?

Tandy Pryor:                 [02:19]               Sure. I coach entrepreneurs, mostly in salespeople and people in those lines of work. I really help them own their power so that they have more freedom and more opportunity, and they make more money, so that’s why everybody’s in business. It’s really about owning your power.

Jen McFarland:             [02:39]               Which is really interesting because sometimes, we forget that we’re really in business to show people what we can do, showcase it, and make money.

Tandy Pryor:                 [02:49]               Yes.

Jen McFarland:             [02:50]               I think it gets lost. I think sometimes, especially with women, we forget that it’s not just about service. It’s also about making money.

Tandy Pryor:                 [02:58]               Right, and it is, and I’ve really gotten some pushback about having this message, and I don’t care. There is nothing more powerful than a woman that is owning her worth and her value, and not discounting, whether it’s you’re a money advisor, or you’re an entrepreneur and a coach, or you’re a real estate agent. It’s about standing in your value and what you bring, and all of the gifts that you bring and charging for it. I started on this Own Your Power piece, I was sitting in a room last year, and it was a power panel that was up on the stage, and it was … They’re amazing women that have achieved all kinds of great things to online businesses.

There was probably six or seven of them, and somebody asked a question about power and why it’s important to have your power, and all of them almost … I would pretty much say exclusively. I can’t remember. I remember a few were like, “Oh no, no. No. Power is …”

They immediately equated it to a male, more of a dominant, overpowering … Like it’s a bad thing, and I think that we don’t need to change the word power. We just need to embrace to a really almost not a new meaning, but a new meaning if that seems like the majority of the people think that way about power. I’m talking about that inner power, the really that inside voice that you always had, but moved away from because somebody else’s voice is in your head about, “Who do you think you are?”, “You’re not enough”. That’s a way to lose your power. There’s another way of power when you use clutter and things to keep you separated from your mission that you’re here to do and what you’re really about. That’s another way that I use in coaching is I use your physical space, and that’s another way. Another way is discounting, right? I mean, it’s like not really owning what your gifts are and what you’re here to do, so I’m talking about that special kind of power, not something you wield of over other people. Not necessarily the kind that really makes you push through when maybe it’s time to allow, not just push. I’m talking about the kind of power when you’re aligned with your life’s work, and your purpose, and you take action, and you have intentions, and you have physical space, and you listen to that inner voice.

Jen McFarland:             [05:46]               Wow. I love that. I mean, I think that so often, we forget that power isn’t just somebody wielding something over us. Power is standing within yourself, having that inner guidance that tells you right from wrong, how to act, who you want to interact with, who you want to work with in terms of entrepreneurship and owning your own business. That inner guidance is really power, and it’s what allows us to not only give, but also receive, which is what you were saying, like setting up those boundaries to say, “I don’t want to be with you right now”, or, “Yes, I want to receive whatever gifts or conversation that you want to give me”.

Is that … I think that my follow-up question to that is when you explain how you did so eloquently what power is to you, do you see some of those walls break down with your clients to where they’re like, “Oh, that’s what power really is”, and they’re more open to working on that?

Tandy Pryor:                 [06:50]               Yes. It is a big part of the … I’m using that word because after doing this for six years, ultimately, all of the self-sabotaging things come down to this. It’s not really listening to that inner fire, that inner voice that you were born with before the world and situations in kindergarten, and the mean grandmother, and the ex-husband, and all of these things start to take over, and you change according to the world. Some people do it more than others, and in different situations, nobody’s ever the same, but when you really tune into that inner world and that inner peace, you get intentional.

You can be very intentional and start to begin to attract ideal clients, and automatically know that you’re enough in that charging what you said you were going to charge and standing in it, and not letting somebody tell you to discount it, and creating a physical space that aligns with your highest intentions, beautiful, clear, clean, decluttered space, and you begin to release the old stories around that. One of the things that I see a lot with women is they don’t speak their needs. They don’t speak their voice. I do have a few men that I work with. Primarily, I do work with women, and it’s almost always there’s some relationship that needs to be leveled up, whether it’s an ex-husband, or it is a current husband, or even with kids, or family of origin, or somebody at work. All those different scenarios come into play.

Jen McFarland:             [08:39]               I think that’s really amazing. What I love about you, like when we were able to sit across the coffee shop table with each other and talk about this stuff, and all of it is that your passion for this work is just so evident, and it’s one of the things that I’ve always really appreciated about you, so thank you so much for sharing that. I think that what I’m curious about and what I imagine the listeners are curious about is how you arrived here, why power is so important to you, and how you realized that this was something that not only that you needed and that everybody else needs.

Tandy Pryor:                 [09:16]               I didn’t get here because it was perfect. I got here because it was anything but perfect, and I made a lot of mistakes. I guess the best way to start is I was adopted in 1961 by an amazing family, and I still grew up with a shame around secrecy of what that system was, and without getting into that. I will say that shame, we know so much more now than we did then, that you make so many choices from that place of disempowerment. I mean that’s more, if you are a part of a closed adoption system, you don’t have access to answers, and that’s just the way it was. That’s the way the system was, and I think that set me up for needing to prove and set up things that I just …

I don’t know. I kind of struggled, and I struggled in the teens, in the 20’s, and it was kind of a rough road, and when I got … I had a near-death experience in my 30’s, during childbirth. I was married, and I had one child, and I literally, we both almost died in childbirth. I mean, I basically did but came back, and I had what one would call a ‘Spiritual awakening’, and I dove all into all of this new world of personal development and some of the new age in the healing. I was trained and licensed by the State of Ohio in massage.

At the same time, I was taking coaching. Fast- forward a little bit, I ended up being divorced with three children and making it on my own, and still, at this time, I went back to real estate and to support my family and do those things at the same time. I was leaning more towards again the Feng shui and the healing piece, but what happened was ultimately at 50, I wrapped all of these experiences up into, and owned that I was a coach, that I have been training to be a coach, that I had a life experience and education around every piece of this, and I wrapped it up, and here we are six years later. The divorce was rough. There were a lot of things that didn’t go well, and I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life doing that, and I wanted to help other people in every aspect of their life learn how to own their power and make empowered choices in their life.

Jen McFarland:             [12:01]               I think that that’s amazing, and I think that what really positions you as a really excellent coach in helping people stand in their power is that you have such an amazing hero’s journey story. I just appreciate that you went through and were vulnerable, and shared that so that people understand that you know what it’s like to question and to not know all the answers, and to not always be in power, and that that’s why you’re here and able to help people so much is because you know personally how important power is, and you know about the questions that people have sometimes, and I really think that that’s how you have so many amazing transformations with your clients. Do you want to share like any cool things that have happened along the way with any of your clients?

Tandy Pryor:                 [12:51]               There have been so many, and I am particularly feeling very lucky right now. In the last month, I don’t really know what’s happened, but I have been … Maybe I’ve been on Facebook Lives a lot. That really might be it, but I have been having so many people reach out to me, and the one last week said that … We haven’t worked together.

It’s probably been four years since we worked together, and she was saying that the work we did is still … She used the word ‘Trickling down’, and really settling in and impacting her currently still. I was blown away by that because I have … She’s amazing, and I just hadn’t talked to her for a little while, but I love staying in touch with her. I had another woman who was an attorney that I worked with that just reached out and said, “Thank you”, that she’s still reaping the benefits of the work years later.

Sometimes, people stay working with me for a long time, and some people come, and they do like one round. I have packages, and sometimes they stay two or three, but I’m always … I’m just blown away by when I … I still hear that, that the impact is years later, and it’s probably the most rewarding, amazing thing ever. I just I love it.

Jen McFarland:             [14:11]               Isn’t it? I mean, I can honestly say that when I’m in your presence, I feel like I’m receiving a healing, even though that’s not your work now. It’s just a blessing to like receive healing from you and to be around that Tandylicious magic.

Tandy Pryor:                 [14:27]               Took me back with that one.

Jen McFarland:             [14:32]               You had to know Tandylicious was coming in, right?

Tandy Pryor:                 [14:36]               Yeah. Yes. That’s funny, and you know what? The healing, that is the work that I’m here to do. I don’t think you go through an initiation like that, and you don’t carry that with you. In fact, I’m bringing more of that into my coaching and back into my world and embracing all aspects of that, and I appreciate you saying that.

I didn’t know you felt that way, but that means a lot, and that is part of how I coach. It might not … I think it’s starting to come through more in my messaging too, that that is absolutely part of it, and I am super proud of my testimonials on my website. I love those women. Every single one of them that I’ve worked with has been amazing, and every time I see one of them just taken off or being written up in the paper, or just sharing something new with their business, I love it. It makes me super happy that I got to be part of it.

Jen McFarland:             [15:34]               I know, and when we worked together, I just loved reading them because you could just tell that it was genuine, heartfelt. They’re not people who are like, “Oh, I just got to do this testimonial thing.” These are people who have really experienced change.

Tandy Pryor:                 [15:50]               Yeah, with the initials behind it or something, and you don’t know who it is. These are names and people. You’re right. I love that.

Jen McFarland:             [15:57]               Exactly. No. I think it’s so amazing. You’ve kind of talked a little bit about the space, but I’m wondering if you wanted to dive in just a little bit more because if people go to TandyPryorCoaching.com, one of the things that they can download from you is five ways you’re blocking your power.

Tandy Pryor:                 [16:16]               Yeah.

Jen McFarland:             [16:17]               I’m not going to give away all five, but I will say how you treat your space is one of those things, and I learned a lot from you when we were together, just about space in general, and I was wondering if you had any little insights or gems for people who are curious about that.

Tandy Pryor:                 [16:37]               It is one piece I did like I was talking about when I was still doing real estate, and I was kind of backing out of all of the healing stuff to making ends meet and surviving. My kids were two, seven, and nine. I was so drawn to Feng shui, and so I went and got a certification in what they call ‘Interior alignment’. It’s a Westernized version, and it really is how you heal your space and the person in it together. I find it fascinating work, and as I said, it’s only one part of my coaching, but it is …

I like to think it’s the secret sauce. I mean, it’s amazing the results that I’ve had, especially working in home offices around that. The physical space is very important. It is an outer extension of what’s going on within you, and you can see it. I can see it right away if I see somebody’s space, what’s going on in their life.

They may say they don’t have any issues with money, but if I go there and I see it, it’s all cluttered, and it’s … I saw one woman one time that had an armoire that was catty-cornered, hadn’t been moved in 20 years, and she had serious money problems, and nothing in it had been moved in 20 years. There were blankets piled on top of it. That’s one of the first things we did, was move that and get things moving around that. It is an integral part of success for when you position a desk for success, like what I call in the ‘Command position’, which means it has a solid wall behind you, and you can see the doorway or the opportunities coming to you.

I know this sounds a little woo-woo, but there’s a reason it’s been around for 6,000 years, and it really does work. I know. It is kind of funny.

Jen McFarland:             [18:36]               You can see me smiling. No. I was mostly reflecting on my own office and the fact that that is not how it’s set up at all, and it’s something that you and I have talked about a little bit, but … I mean, I do think there’s something to that. I will say that before I ever met you, there have been moments where I’m like, “Oh my God.”

I just look around my house and I think, “A cluttered space is reflective of a cluttered mind”, and I just start cleaning things, and we just don’t have a lot of stuff just sitting around ever since we were in Peace Corps. We just don’t do that, and so a lot of what you said really resonated for me because I’m one of those people that gets into a space, and I’m like, “Okay. What’s wrong here?” I just don’t always have the skills or training to know what that’s doing to me besides making me crazy, so it’s just interesting.

Tandy Pryor:                 [18:36]               Yeah.

Jen McFarland:             [19:30]               It’s just fascinating to me.

Tandy Pryor:                 [19:33]               Clutter is huge. Clutter is a block like we talked earlier. It’s a power block, but it is a block. I mean, clutter is anything that is unused, unloved, stagnant, lower vibration. I mean, there’s no other way …

It allows people to stay stuck. It allows people to not move forward, and people use it. People use stuff. They use disorganization to stay small, disempowered, kind of victimy maybe. I mean, it can even bring that in.

Jen McFarland:             [20:07]               Yeah. A couple of weeks ago, I interviewed Tim McCain, and it was so interesting. I was in Cincinnati with you, and then within a month, I was in Idaho taking a training from Tim McCain who was talking about releasing the limitations in your mind. I went through, and I was making a list of all the things I didn’t like about my business, and then the next day, it was like, “Whose fault is that?” I realized to a point like, “I’m responsible for all this shit. I created this mess”, and it wasn’t a big deal.

It’s just when you see the things that make you crazy, and then you realize that you’re in charge of it, to me, that’s a real chance to kind of just stand in it and own it, and then clean it, which is what I did.

Tandy Pryor:                 [20:55]               And to also ask what you get out of it being like that.

Jen McFarland:             [21:01]               Yeah, and I think that that was the other part that was so aggravating. I was like, “Oh, so this is what allows me to complain.” That’s what I’m getting out of it, and then people feel sorry for me. I was like, “I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. That’s stupid.”

“I want to be successful. I don’t want to complain to my husband and have him pat me on the head and tell me it’s okay.” I’m like, “That’s not who I am.”

Tandy Pryor:                 [21:24]               Right. Yeah. Yes.

Jen McFarland:             [21:25]               That’s part of the big transformations for me that have happened in the last month, is just looking at that stuff and seeing it for what it is, all of this mental clutter, all of this business clutter, and just getting rid of it. I credit you for a lot of that because you laid that foundation when we were together when I was helping you declutter your technical life a little bit, you know?

Tandy Pryor:                 [21:25]               Right. Thank goodness.

Jen McFarland:             [21:51]               We all do our part, right? Like we’re all in this together trying to declutter stuff and streamline.

Tandy Pryor:                 [21:58]               Yes, that is definitely your gift. You’re great at that. That’s why I’m glad you’re still there so I can have a resource for that too because that was amazing.

Jen McFarland:             [22:09]               Thank you. I just really like working with you. I don’t know. I think hanging out with you is like magic, so I just appreciate you being on here. Before we go, do you have …

If there’s one piece of advice, knowing that most of the audience are solopreneurs, women, and small businesses, is there one piece of advice that you can impart to the audience? What would that be?

Tandy Pryor:                 [22:33]               If you’re stuck and you’re feeling very stuck, get some new information. Don’t stay there. Whether it’s a coach or a technology person if that’s what your … Whatever it is, you don’t have to stay in pain. There is a way out of it, and I see a lot of people walking around in a lot of pain. Even though it might look really good on the outside, if something’s really going on, reach out and get some new information, and some new strategies, and some new techniques.

Jen McFarland:             [23:06]               Wow. I think that that’s great. Tandy, thank you for joining me today. Before we go, I just want to make sure that people go to TandyPryorcoaching.com, where they can check out five ways that are blocking their power, schedule a consultation with you, and is there anything else that you would like to offer to the listeners today?

Tandy Pryor:                 [23:26]               No. I would love for them to opt-in and see that new freebie that I have. The free gift is amazing, and I do have a women’s program coming up, a group coaching circle, which are very, very powerful. It’s a combination of one-on-one coaching and group coaching, and if anybody would like any information on that, I would love to talk to them about it.

Jen McFarland:             [23:49]               That’s awesome, Tandy. Thank you so much for joining me today, and I’ll be talking to you soon.

Tandy Pryor:                 [23:55]               Okay. Thank you very much.

Announcer:                  [23:58]               Thank you for listening to the Third Paddle Podcast. Be sure to catch every episode by subscribing on iTunes. To learn more, check out our website at www.ThirdPaddle.com. The Third Paddle Podcast is sponsored by Foster Growth LLC. Online at www.FosterGrowth.tech.

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Third Paddle

Leadership and Tech Consultant Jennifer McFarland is your 'third paddle' helping you navigate the business rapids with humor, banter, and fun while helping your business get unstuck so you can focus on growth. Tools, tactics, and strategies to move your business forward including actionable strategies to resolve lingering tech issues and interviews with subject-matter experts. Topics include leadership, marketing, and technology.

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